Difficult situation. I need help.

[wisconsinteacher]

I have a situation that I don't know how to deal with.  I am asking you guys because you are level headed and mature. 

Last year, I showed a 25 year old guy how to ice fish (I am 30).  It started out with him coming with and me setting up the gear with my equipment.  At the end of the season, he was doing good and catching fish but we were still using my truck, gas, and gear.  Often times, he would forget food and beer so I would offer some to him.  Well we are into year two and he still does not bring food, beer, or bait.  He does not have a truck and we drive by his house so that is not that big of a deal.  The issue I am having is that I cut all the holes, bring the grill for cooking, have beer for myself and when we get on the ice he does not have anything but his few fishing poles and a chair.  I know this may sound small but it is starting to get old.  Lastly, he never says thanks.  I know it means a lot to him, and that he was maybe raised different than me, but still he is an adult so he could do it. 

Here is the hard part, we work together so if I fish, he knows about it.  Also, I know him and his wife make more than my wife and I so that stings a little also.  We enjoy his company fishing, but my wife and I are both growing old of the free loading and not pitching in to help with the fishing and money end of the trip.  What would you do?  I feel like not telling him about my next trip and leaving him at home so my wife and I can have fun.  I also feel I need to say, you buy the food/beer and I will get the bait/gas.  Help me out guys.

[OLE RASPY]

If hes a true friend he wouldnt do that right.
I know its a hard situation but i would tell him to start splitting the cost.Who knows he might start helping u out.Sometimes with some people it takes tellem about it then they will start.And if he doesnt start splitting the cost then i wouldnt take him anymore.If he gets mad then so be it. YOUR CATCHING FISH AND HE WONT BE.

[ncturkey]

Just confront him with it man to man. If he is a true friend he will understand and start to chip in. Good Luck.

[fallsflight]

I also feel I need to say, you buy the food/beer and I will get the bait/gas.  Help me out guys.

Just come right and out tell him that you enjoy fishing with him, but he needs to start splitting the cost of everything.  Just like you said above, tell him that he can get the food and beer and you will get the gas and bait from now on.  I think he will understand.  If not, so be it.  He should be a big boy by now considering he is 25 and married.  Maybe he is just a bit fog headed and it never occurred to him to pitch in.   

[hookedspur]

I also feel I need to say, you buy the food/beer and I will get the bait/gas.  Help me out guys.

Just come right and out tell him that you enjoy fishing with him, but he needs to start splitting the cost of everything.  Just like you said above, tell him that he can get the food and beer and you will get the gas and bait from now on.  I think he will understand.  If not, so be it.  He should be a big boy by now considering he is 25 and married.  Maybe he is just a bit fog headed and it never occurred to him to pitch in.   

               THIS

[Deputy 14]

Had a buddy like that before he decided to start putting pharmaceuticals products up his nose, but that's a different story. I just started calling him before we left and asked him if he could pick some things because I didn't have time or the cash at the time whether I did or not. He started to pick up on that and the problems per se stopped.  

[The Cohutta Strutter]

I also feel I need to say, you buy the food/beer and I will get the bait/gas.  Help me out guys.

Just come right and out tell him that you enjoy fishing with him, but he needs to start splitting the cost of everything.  Just like you said above, tell him that he can get the food and beer and you will get the gas and bait from now on.  I think he will understand.  If not, so be it.  He should be a big boy by now considering he is 25 and married.  Maybe he is just a bit fog headed and it never occurred to him to pitch in.  

X3... it may just very well be that it has'nt occured to him to pitch in. But, it sounds like you two have been doing this for some time now, so it's unlikely the thought has'nt crossed his mind. I honestly think you'll do him a favor by addresing this with him and he's certainly old enough to hear it and act accordingly.

[TANK]

I also feel I need to say, you buy the food/beer and I will get the bait/gas.  Help me out guys.

Just come right and out tell him that you enjoy fishing with him, but he needs to start splitting the cost of everything.  Just like you said above, tell him that he can get the food and beer and you will get the gas and bait from now on.  I think he will understand.  If not, so be it.  He should be a big boy by now considering he is 25 and married.  Maybe he is just a bit fog headed and it never occurred to him to pitch in.   

Honesty is always best......If he's worth his salt, he shouldn't be mad about it. Its possible he just didn't think of it....

[redrivergar]

I would just lay it out and let him react. If he decides to pitch in then you save money and a friendship. If he gets mad then you still go fishing just without the freeloader.


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[BOFF]

For one, I'm sure your wife is prettier than him, and she goes home with you. You owe it to her, and you, to spend some time together, without him along.

Secondly, if it bothers you, voice it to him. If you don't, it's only your fault. He isn't supposed to be able to read your mind.

Simple, honest, direct communication is the key. I'm sure it will work out for the best.



God Bless,
David B.

[RutnNStrutn]

I know its a hard situation but i would tell him to start splitting the cost.Who knows he might start helping u out.Sometimes with some people it takes tellem about it then they will start.And if he doesnt start splitting the cost then i wouldnt take him anymore.

[Dixie Whistler]

I would make a light-hearted joke.  Something like "Man you still didn't bring anything again! hahaha." And hope he got the hint.  

[Hognutz]

Is violence out of the question??

[Odessa]

Regardless of how his sharing works out, for good or bad, that is a separate issue from going with just you and your wife.  You should have some time with her and have not him along regardless.  I have good hunting buddies, but I don't hunt with all of them everytime I hunt, your buddy (or anyone else) should be able to figure that out.

[gobbler777]

Have a face to face, calm, logical conversation about it with him.  He'll either understand or "hit the road"... problem solved. Toughest part is you proceeding with the conversation. Good luck.