I wrote this for my blog a few years ago - funny little hunting tale about 2 boys I used to know:
Ahhh, I'm afraid that this is one of those stories where we'll have to use some aliases - wouldn't want my friends to get into any trouble
) This is a humorous little tale about 2 young gents who just didn't know how to say no to that oh so seductive sound, the turkey gobble!
Chuck & John were best friends who had grown up hunting together. Back in the old days, there just weren't that many turkeys around. So it was actually a rare event to find a gobbling turkey during season that was not A) being hunted by someone else, or B) completely covered up with hens. Well this particular Spring, Chuck & John were hunting on a small tract in land in "Snotty Hollow". And, as it so often happens in turkey hunting, all the action was on the wrong side of the fence. Day in and day out Chuck & John would sit on their side of the fence trying to impersonate cute-sounding little lonely hens. Of course the gobblers would answer nearly every cluck & yelp, but they never even entertained the thought of getting close enough to the fence to offer Chuck or John a shot.
I'm sure that all you real turkey hunters out there understand - a man can only take so much. After several days of listening to the symphony of turkeys sounds coming from across the fence & KNOWING that no one else was hunting that particular piece of poultry paradise, our friends Chuck & John had had all that they could stand. So the next morning, they got up extra early, crossed that cursed fence, and headed strait into the heart of turkey-town. Their destination was a wooded hilltop that overlooked a green hollow. They knew from listening from across the fence for the past several days that this was the spot where the action started every morning. The gobblers would roost on that hilltop, fly down in the woods, and then slowly peck their way to the pasture where they would meet up with their hens.
Daylight found the boys set up in front of 2 large hardwood trees on that hilltop. The gobblers were there, just as Chuck & John knew that they would be - the only problem was that they flew down the hill instead of up on the top. But, no problem - Chuck & John had all day if necessary - there was NEVER anyone else around on this particular piece of property. I'm not sure exactly how long it took, but eventually the boys were able to call the birds back up to their location. 3 or 4 gobblers made their way up the steep hillside, gobbling the entire way.
This particular morning, Chuck was doing the calling & John was the trigger man. Chuck was set up just a few yards behind John, be he still had a great view of the action. I'm not sure how to best describe what happened after John shot, but it was something like pandemonium. Turkeys were flying in every direction and then they heard "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! WHO'S UP THERE?!?!?!",uh... yep... there was 1 VERY unhappy sounding farmer at the bottom of the hill yelling at Chuck & John... huh?... where did HE come from? There is NEVER anyone else around on this property! Well, John turned to look at Chuck & Chuck turned to look at John, both with eyes as big Saucers. About that time, our turkey hunters hear a tractor crank up, engine racing, heading their way. Funny, the boys both reached the same conclusion without ever speaking a word - RUN!
Just imagine 2 young men in full turkey hunting garb (including: vests loaded with every decoy & call available at the local Wal-mart, and knee-high rubber boots) running a 5K cross-country race and you'll have some idea as to what Chuck & John looked like as they made their escape. Oh and did I mention that the angry farmer & his tractor were between our wayward hunters & "their" fence? So as they high-tailed it across 500 yards of open pasture with Elmer Fudd in hot pursuit, they were headed AWAY from safety and towards yet another farm about which they knew absolutely nothing. They did know however that they were headed toward the nearest cover & that the tractor couldn't get across that next fence - so that was EXACTLY where they wanted to be!
Surprisingly, the boys made it across the pasture and over the fence before the farmer & the tractor could make it up the hill. Not sure exactly how long they kept running AFTER they dove across the fence and made it to heavy cover, but I DO know that they kept running until they practically collapsed from exhaustion! And eventually, Chuck & John circled around & finally got up the nerve to walk up the edge of the road to where they had parked - knowing the whole time that the Sheriff, or worse yet, the farmer would be waiting for them at their trucks. But, once again our boys lucked out and managed to get away clean.
Did they learn their lesson? I think so - I'm pretty sure if you asked them today, they'd say that the moral of this little story is "always wear running shoes when you go turkey hunting!"
) Oh, and what about the turkey that John shot at?
HE MISSED!
