Barry, I agree 100%!! We've tried flash & IR versions of several cameras on our property in SC. We also have the nighttime blur problem, and it is very aggravating when you can make out antlers but can't tell if he's a good buck or not. Also, when we first got them, we would walk in front of them to check it out. When the IR comes on it makes a click noise, which is why I think the deer are looking at the camera.
When you add in the extra cost of an IR camera, we prefer to go with a flash cam. Like you, we haven't had any issues with them spooking deer. The only problem is finding them. It seems like Cabelas, Bass Pro, Sportsman Guide, and all the other major catalog stores are going to almost exclusively IR.