CHINESE SICK LEAVE:  
I NO COME WORK TODAY.
 
Wong Chow calls into work and says, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work..
 
The boss says, You know something, Wong Chow, I really need you today.  When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex.  That makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.
 
Two hours later Wong Chow calls again.  I do what you say and I feel great... I be at work soon..... You got nice house.