A way with words!!

[OLE RASPY]

TO MY SOUTHERN FRIENDS.


    Those Southerners have a way with words! 

   

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers
that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through." 

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."  (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going?  I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning?  O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair?  You want me to be fair?  Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime
Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed
to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?  You're right, we don't.
Sign here."
   

[mountman62]

gotta love the last one

[Deputy 14]

 

[Crappiepro]

  Those were Great!!

[hookedspur]

 

[Hookhunter]

Southern Articulation at its finest!! In the words of Rhett Akins " if that don't fit your social class, you can kiss my country........"  gotta love those troopers. If there are any on here from any state.. Thanks for keepin us safe boys keep on doin what you do!!!!!!

[handcannon]

I've personally heard #6 (dad) and #13 (cop). It wasn't funny then....it is now though.

[stone road turkey calls]

Troopers have the right to remain silent, they should use it.

[redarrow]

Number one reminded me of my Nephew ,in Tennessee of course. The lady in front of us was slow leaving the light and he hollered " Hey lady that's the only shade of green we got around here. "

[runngun]

I have used a bunch of them myself, especially 3, 4, and 5!!!! I love them all!!!

[Hognutz]

That was outstanding!! Very funny stuff, Raspy..