A man, running late for work, jumps into his car and takes off for the office. He was speeding, but could not afford to be late again or the boss was gonna fire him. Just as he crested the bridge, he saw a State Trooper sitting on the other side running radar. The man cussed himself, and waited to get pulled over.
Sure enough, the trooper turned around, ran up behind the man and turned his blue lights on.
The man pulled over, got his driver's license ready and rolled his window down. The trooper walked up to the window, and told the man that he had been pulled over for speeding.
The man told the trooper, "Sir, I know I was speeding....but I'm late for work. I can't be late for work again, I have a very important job."
The trooper, gripped by curiosity said, "Now, do tell what your job is that is soooooooo important that you should be immune to the law and allowed to run as fast as you want to on my highway."
The man replied, "Officer, I am a rectum stretcher."
"A rectum stretcher?", stated the trooper, "What's that?"
"Well," the man said, "I take someone's rectum and I stretch and stretch and stretch and stretch until the rectum is a full SIX FOOT LONG!"
"Just what in the hell do you do with a six foot long A$$hole?", exclaimed the trooper?
"We give him a radar gun, and stick him at the end of a freakin' bridge!", yelled the man.
I bet he got a ticket...........(And I can tell this joke because I am a cop) :funnyturkey:
OH GEEZ. A cop with a sense of humor. You don't have any friends in michigan do ya ? :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny:
Actually, I do have some D.E.A. buddies in Detroit.......does that count? :icon_thumright:
:TooFunny:
:TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny:
That one had me on the floor! :TooFunny: :TooFunny:
BAD COP!!! NO DONUT!!!!
Quote from: CASH on April 13, 2012, 12:52:17 AM
BAD COP!!! NO DONUT!!!!
Watch it! They are pastries....donuts are derogatory. :policeman:
:TooFunny: :TooFunny:
Bahahahahaha! See, that's EXACTLY the reason I REFUSE to eat donuts on duty! Or anywhere else someone can see me for that reason!!! :TooFunny: :policeman:
FUNNY stuff there! :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny:
So,
If I repeat that joke next time I get pulled over for speeding and tell the Police I got the joke from a cop will they walk away laughing and forget to give me a ticket?
I wouldn't ever have said that....but I wish I had the gahonkies to do it!!
Quote from: mnturkey on April 13, 2012, 10:49:19 AM
So,
If I repeat that joke next time I get pulled over for speeding and tell the Police I got the joke from a cop will they walk away laughing and forget to give me a ticket?
Wouldn't hurt to try it......let me know how it goes....... :TooFunny:
Quote from: gobblercop on April 13, 2012, 12:54:17 PM
Quote from: mnturkey on April 13, 2012, 10:49:19 AM
So,
If I repeat that joke next time I get pulled over for speeding and tell the Police I got the joke from a cop will they walk away laughing and forget to give me a ticket?
Wouldn't hurt to try it......let me know how it goes....... :TooFunny:
I will
Quote from: gobblercop on April 12, 2012, 08:40:41 PM
Actually, I do have some D.E.A. buddies in Detroit.......does that count? :icon_thumright:
I work at Frank Murphy Hall of Justice in Detroit, who are your friends maybe I can surprise them 4 you
I am a policeman as well (23) years. Believe it or not most officers have a sense of humor, that goes for game wardens as well!!! Try it, the worst that can happen is you get a ticket for what he stopped you for in the 1st place.
Being a retired Policeman (20 years of service) , i can tell you if i didnt have a sense of humor i would have made it to retirement. I have to say tho if someone said that to me i would have cracked a smile and said hold on while i write you out a summons. While in the cruiser im sure i would have been laughing my ..s off. Lee :z-winnersmiley:
:TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny:
Quote from: gobblercop on April 13, 2012, 07:35:54 AM
Bahahahahaha! See, that's EXACTLY the reason I REFUSE to eat donuts on duty! Or anywhere else someone can see me for that reason!!! :TooFunny: :policeman:
I ate 'em before I became a cop and I, unapologetically, STILL love 'em! :policeman:
But I don't eat "Power Rings" much any more because they aren't exactly health food... :toothy9:
Quote from: runngun on April 15, 2012, 11:10:39 AM
I am a policeman as well (23) years. Believe it or not most officers have a sense of humor, that goes for game wardens as well!!! Try it, the worst that can happen is you get a ticket for what he stopped you for in the 1st place.
The game wardens might have a sense of humor but there is one in Virginia that I am guessing does not. He gave me a citation last week for not having a fishing licence when I was casting my daughters "Barbie" fishing pole with her 10 feet away while we were on vacation.
I already know he is lacking compassion and common sense so I will almost bet this game warden doesn't have a sense of humor as well.
Very funny joke though. Sorry for venting.