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I bet he got a ticket....

Started by gobblercop, April 12, 2012, 07:55:45 PM

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gobblercop

A man, running late for work, jumps into his car and takes off for the office.  He was speeding, but could not afford to be late again or the boss was gonna fire him.  Just as he crested the bridge, he saw a State Trooper sitting on the other side running radar. The man cussed himself, and waited to get pulled over. 

Sure enough, the trooper turned around, ran up behind the man and turned his blue lights on.

The man pulled over, got his driver's license ready and rolled his window down.  The trooper walked up to the window, and told the man that he had been pulled over for speeding. 

The man told the trooper, "Sir, I know I was speeding....but I'm late for work.  I can't be late for work again, I have a very important job." 

The trooper, gripped by curiosity said, "Now, do tell what your job is that is soooooooo important that you should be immune to the law and allowed to run as fast as you want to on my highway."

The man replied, "Officer, I am a rectum stretcher."

"A rectum stretcher?", stated the trooper, "What's that?"

"Well," the man said, "I take someone's rectum and I stretch and stretch and stretch and stretch until the rectum is a full SIX FOOT LONG!"

"Just what in the hell do you do with a six foot long A$$hole?", exclaimed the trooper?

"We give him a radar gun, and stick him at the end of a freakin' bridge!", yelled the man.

I bet he got a ticket...........(And I can tell this joke because I am a cop)   :funnyturkey:

redarrow

OH GEEZ. A cop with a sense of humor. You don't have any friends in michigan do ya ? :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny: :TooFunny:

gobblercop

Actually, I do have some D.E.A. buddies in Detroit.......does that count? :icon_thumright:

briancady


Ol'Mossy


Ruger M77

I eat therefore I hunt

CASH

A man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands, love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper; his hands remember the rifle.

WildSpur

Quote from: CASH on April 13, 2012, 12:52:17 AM
BAD COP!!!  NO DONUT!!!!

Watch it!  They are pastries....donuts are derogatory.   :policeman:


Cluck more, yelp less

Turkey Havoc

Stephen H Spraberry

gobblercop

Bahahahahaha!  See, that's EXACTLY the reason I REFUSE to eat donuts on duty!  Or anywhere else someone can see me for that reason!!!  :TooFunny: :policeman:

remmy1187


mnturkey

So,
If I repeat that joke next time I get pulled over for speeding and tell the Police I got the joke from a cop will they walk away laughing and forget to give me a ticket?
SEMPER FI

oklahomaboy

I wouldn't ever have said that....but I wish I had the gahonkies to do it!!

gobblercop

Quote from: mnturkey on April 13, 2012, 10:49:19 AM
So,
If I repeat that joke next time I get pulled over for speeding and tell the Police I got the joke from a cop will they walk away laughing and forget to give me a ticket?

Wouldn't hurt to try it......let me know how it goes....... :TooFunny:

mnturkey

Quote from: gobblercop on April 13, 2012, 12:54:17 PM
Quote from: mnturkey on April 13, 2012, 10:49:19 AM
So,
If I repeat that joke next time I get pulled over for speeding and tell the Police I got the joke from a cop will they walk away laughing and forget to give me a ticket?

Wouldn't hurt to try it......let me know how it goes....... :TooFunny:
I will
SEMPER FI