I have a group of buddies I have known for several years.
We used to hunt a lot together, but last few years it has kinda slacked because I have been a little put off.
I couple of them started poaching on properties because they say that no one hunts them and yada yada yada. Like most folks they are going through financial issues with the economy, but they are out there still buying tons of new toys. New ATV, Gun, Duck Calls, etc. Couple of the guys are married and some are single, but its just bothering to be around now.
I would think that if one was in debt and such one wouldn't go buy an ATV and all that crap, but they continue to do so, yet constantly complain about how hard life is.
They are always wanting to come hunt with me and on my properties, yet none of them have ever offered to take me to theirs. They always want to borrow some of my gear when they hunt. Always wanting help on how to call and how to do other stuff, yet have never really helped me out with anything.
Idk if I am sounding selfish or not.
Just has been getting old. A big part of me tells me that I need to stop talking to them and get them out of my life, but another part is just tough to shut the door on my buddies.
What do y'all think?
I'ts time to find some new friends, they will never change. do it now and get over it.
IMHO if they a "true" friends you should be able to tell them you are feeling used and about used up. The one 's that are true friends will get the message the ones that aren't will fall by the wayside. I don't think anyone in your shoes wants to be taken advantage of. That's just my opinion and you know what people say about opinions. ;D
Rick
Imo we are all close enough that we can talk about anything. Doesn;t matter if its about money, girlfriends/wifes, work, etc.
For me its just getting old being around folks who constantly make stupid decisions.
Like the good book says...Don't cast your pearls to the swine!!! :jesus-cross:
GA, I went through the same thing with some of my buddies. I just cut my losses and moved on. You might be better to do the same. jmo That is one of those decisions you have to make on your own. No one here can, nor should tell you how to live your life. It is a decision you have to make and live with.
If the guys are starting to poach, then you want to distance yourself from them as soon as you can,...and let others know that you condemn that. If you don't, you will fall into the "guilt by association" category, and that will eventually effect you down the road in all sorts of ways.
You obviously have a pretty clear idea of what needs to be done. You will have to decide if you want to burn down the bridge completely,...or just take a few of the planks out of the middle. If these guys are the slackers that you make them out to be, I'd be getting the gas can out pretty pronto.
I'd go hang with some guys of higher caliber. Iron sharpens iron...or sooner or later, they will make you RUST!
They know they are wrong. Tell them they are a better person than this. Get them to accept they don't have to do this and stop it. They can change. We all do things that we shouldn't. I'm not telling you to accept it. I'm saying a true friend will help them to correct what they are doing. They should do the same for you when your doing wrong. That's what friends do. They help each other out through thick and thin. But tell them where you stand on the issue.
Quote from: gatrapper on July 29, 2011, 10:09:27 AM
For me its just getting old being around folks who constantly make stupid decisions.
Sounds to me like you have respect for the outdoors and the sport, and your more mature than your current group. I have hunted with some real idiots. It stresses me out and ticks me off. I choose not to hunt with them any more. If your stressed over guys you hunt with then you will stop enjoying the sport and that's not fair to you. Some of them may decide to grow up, but some probably wont. I would be more concerned about preserving the enjoyment of the sport for yourself rather than stepping on some toes.
I've been on both sides of this situation. Years ago, when I was a kid, I had the good fortune of growing up on our large family farm that was full of deer and turkey. I wasn't very adherent to game laws, because I had the impression that, "hey, these are MY deer and turkeys." Later that attitude spilled into whatever I was hunting. A good buddy of mine always hated that I did that kind of stuff and one day came over and had a man to man with me. He explained how he hated seeing me disrespect the animals that he valued so much. In short, he made me feel about 3 inches tall, but it helped me understand that the way I did things was wrong. I left that day with a much greater appreciation of wildlife and for friends like him. Laws are in place to protect wildlife, not benefit the hunter.
Tough call.
I had a so called "good friend" of mine actually trespass onto land that I had permission to hunt the very next year after I had taken him with me hunting on this piece of property.
The following year we caught his son, his Dad and one of his friends on the property.
We don't hunt together any more!
Quote from: Wingbone on July 29, 2011, 04:37:23 PM
I've been on both sides of this situation. Years ago, when I was a kid, I had the good fortune of growing up on our large family farm that was full of deer and turkey. I wasn't very adherent to game laws, because I had the impression that, "hey, these are MY deer and turkeys." Later that attitude spilled into whatever I was hunting. A good buddy of mine always hated that I did that kind of stuff and one day came over and had a man to man with me. He explained how he hated seeing me disrespect the animals that he valued so much. In short, he made me feel about 3 inches tall, but it helped me understand that the way I did things was wrong. I left that day with a much greater appreciation of wildlife and for friends like him. Laws are in place to protect wildlife, not benefit the hunter.
Case in point that anyone can change their ways including if the shoe is on the other foot.
Thanks for typing that.
We all do things wrong. It's easy to throw the first stone. But a true friend will be their to pick you up after the stone hits ya. :you_rock:
Heck I have done some bad things over the years, but I'm trying to fix my mistakes. I had a guy tell me once that we all make mistakes, but we gain knowledge from each one that only makes us wiser for our future. That's where wisdom comes from.
You're not wrong. They can be buddies but I would let them be hunting buddies.
Every boy grows up at some point in time into a man. Sounds like you are thinking like a man, and they still want to be boys. No shame in drifting apart from your boyhood friends when your ready to be a man.
If you dont want to partake in what they do....tell them so, and let them know why. We have plenty of quality public land in our state, there is no excuse for poaching on someone elses.
I used to have some friends that I used to drink beer with but when I gave up drinking they dropped me like a lead brick. They used me alot for certain things and only called me when they wanted something.Want to know something? I don't miss them a bit, I guess they weren't my friends at all. I've known them for 20 years.
Quote from: stone road turkey calls on July 29, 2011, 10:01:14 AM
I'ts time to find some new friends, they will never change. do it now and get over it.
Good advice!
I reread what you wrote. If you feel your friends are using you, I would find new friends. For these will never be friends to you.
if all they call you for is access for hunting properties , and they never return the favor -- well that's not buddies , that's called - being used
Reads like you already know what to do anyway.
I try to do things for others, without wanting anything in return, OTHER THAN, appreciation. It's the lack of appreciation, which bothers me. Hope it works out for you, as I'm sure it will.
God Bless,
David B.
:emoticon-cartoon-012: yep LOCK THAT DOOR......!!!
remember : you got to be careful being the "Moral Police" :jesus-cross:
all you can do is what you know is right for you.... noone else will good luck
Quote from: Preacher on August 01, 2011, 03:37:47 AM
remember : you got to be careful being the "Moral Police" :jesus-cross:
Very good advice.
I don't want to sound like Im on a high horse.
Im just the type of person who doesn't really care for law breaking and going about life these guys do. Im not a law breaker, drinker, or smoker, which should say a lot for a 22 year old college student.
I doubt I will take the guys fishing or hunting again until their act straightens out. We all used to be very tight, but once we all finished high school and some got married and/ or started working full time they changed their standards.
They all come great families, just can't figure out why they are choosing to live like this.
life is a slippery slope morally sometime, at least for me, I really like the fact that you are willing to stand for what right, but just remember its real easy to be very convicted of something you are not guilty of.
I am not saying join them and allow yourself to be pulled down to thier level. but rather than focusing on thier mistakes , try to see some postive. instead of using your engery on them ,look for ways to improve yourself.
I heard a saying many years ago and it helped me for the better, it reads like this:
"You ARE who you surround yourself with."
If you want to be better surround yourself with better people.
I had old friends that I was really tight with that I let go years ago because they were dragging me down. Now I am a lot happier and thankful that I chose to do so.
I'm 51 years old now and I have some friends who never grew up. They are still my friends and I'd do anything to help any of them and they know it. But they also know there's a line drawn and they don't cross it, I guess thats how were still friends. My point is you don't have to write them out of your life, just let them know where you stand and your real friends will never cross that line and the others will move on on their own.
sounds like your being used like a floormat.if they are true and i mean true buddies you can tell them whats on your mind and you will find out which ones are still your buddies.
Quote from: tennturkey1 on July 29, 2011, 07:21:07 PM
Been there done that. I have tried several times to help out so called hunting buddies only to have them let me down. I have found out they they are out for #1 and really never were my friends from the get go. My dad told me many years ago you will have many so called friends but very few true friends. I have found this to be true. I will just hunt alone and that way I will not have to worry with or put my trust in anyone that is probably going to let me down anyway. Just my experience.
:TooFunny: :lol: