Funny Turkey Hunting Stories

[BlondeGuy]

Hey guys, I'm collecting funny turkey hunting related stories for a chapter in a possible publication. These stories can be true stories or not, just as long as they are funny.

Please post them on this forum thread so we can all enjoy them and if they are used, I will contact the poster/author about publishing.

Thanks guys, I've been around enough camp fires to know y'all have some really good ones.

BlondeGuy

[SinGin]

I'll start off. It took me about 12 years before I finally killed my first turkey. Wait, thats not funny at all, thats just down right sad.

[guesswho]

Not sure if this is funny or sad, I found it pretty entertaining. 

I picked up a new national account three or four years ago.  As I was getting to know everyone, one guy always wanted to talk turkey hunting.  After several conversations I started thinking cuzz here has a clue.  I went in February scouting with him and he had some really good property.  He also likes to deer hunt but big bucks are far and few between down here.  I have a couple of buddy's from Ohio who are undercover Game Wardens and they wanted to come down and turkey hunt.  I talked to my buddy about trading out a turkey hunt for a deer hunt in big buck country in ohio.   I got it all set up for late March.  My buddy's from Ohio showed up and I introduced everbody and they hit it off fine.  Now my buddy down here new they were undercover Game Wardens.   I went with one of them and my buddy took the other one.  My guy killed early so we were back at the house waiting on the other two.  When they pulled up I could see my undercover buddy just shaking his head.  When they got out of the vehichle I ask what was up.  Undercover guy I'll call George still just shook his head. 

Finally my buddy that took him who I'll call Fred said George just couldn't believe he shot a Jake.   George said you didn't, then proceeded to tell the story.  George said they went to a field edge and sat against some planted pines.  George said he was enjoying the cool breeze and just about fell a sleep.   Then he said he heard psst, psst, George.  He said he opened his eyes and looked at Fred, and Fred said turkey coming.  George looked and sure enought a turkey was headed right to them.  He said the turkey got about 30 yards and and he heard BOOM, scared him to death, and the turkey folded up.  George looked at Fred and ask what is your rules down her concerning hens in the spring.  Fred told him you can't kill hens, George said well you just did.  Then they went to bickering back and forth, Fred claiming it was a Jake and George saying it was a hen.  Fred told George I'll call the man and he'll tell you.  George stepped back, spread his arms out and said I am the man!   He couldn't convince Fred that he had killed a hen.   George told Fred he didn't want to see it, touch it, smell it or have anything to do with it.  George said he looked around for the hidden camera because he thought someone was messing with him.   Well Fred picks the bird up and they go back to the truck.  George being an undercover guy always has a cam-corder.  Fred layed the bird on his tailgate and George got out his cam-corder.  George filmed him breasting out the bird, got him to say his name and the date, he also zoomed in on Freds license plate.   Fred finished breasting out the bird then they went to Freds house where we were at waiting. 

Then George pulled out the cam-corder for me and the other under cover guy to see, and no doubt about it, Fred shot a hen in the spring in front of an undercover game warden knowing he was a game warden.   The two undercover guys walked away and huddled together, then came back to me and Fred.   I thought Fred was going to jail.  But he was letting my Ohio buddy's stay in his house, hunt his property, feeding them good and showing them a good time.   They told him that he was now their Alabama snitch, they had him and he had to do what they said now or go to jail.  They joked around the rest of the trip and then had to go back to Ohio.   

A couple years later me and Fred went to George's in Ohio for a big cook out George has every year.  There are always about fifty to seventy five game wardens from all over the country there.  Most of them covert.  George had two of them take Fred inside where they had a cam-corder set up and interviewed him about the incident.   Fred was sweating, stuttering and didn't know what to do.  They told him they had been waiting two years to get him in their jurisdiction so they could arrest him.  They then told Fred they were going to have to cuff him.  Fred told them he didn't think they could, Fred's a big ole boy, about 6'5" 400 lbs.  Finally they let him off the hook.  Afterwards they played both tapes for everybody.  Everybody was cracking up.  The tapes are now training tapes for new covert guys showing them how to film evidence and such.  Fred said he ain't never stepping foot back in Ohio again. 

They also issued him a fake citation and took his picture.  I have the picture here somewhere.   My covert guys still come down every year and hunt with Fred and stay at his house.  But Fred will never hear the end of it.

[barry]

So...Did "Fred" actually kill a hen or not?

[Hognutz]

Sounds like he did. Ronnie??

[guesswho]

Sounds like he did. Ronnie??

Yes!  Fred actually killed a hen.  I was as shocked as anyone.  But I had never hunted with him, just talked about turkey hunting with him.  He talked a good game.  But then couldn't tell the difference between a hen and a gobbler.  He said he saw a feather sticking out of it's breast and he thought it was a beard    He denied it being a hen for a long time, but I saw the tape.  We have finally convinced him he was wrong! 

I know of one or two more that can't tell the difference also.  Kind of scary!

[Hognutz]

Book 'em, Danno..

[guesswho]

Here's Fred receiving his citation/pardon, claiming him an Alabama snitch for the rest of his life. 

In Alabama you can donate a deer or turkey to someone but you have to fill out a form.  I donated a turkeys carcass to George while he was down here.  They returned the favor when I went up there.  They gave me a carcass and a certificate.

Sorry Blondeguy for hijacking the thread.  Anyone else have any stories?

[bowhunter84]

Book 'em, Danno..

[mason0366]

Well if I am thinking right. They could of arrested him. They are federal. They could do it in any state. But I could be wrong.

[guesswho]

Well if I am thinking right. They could of arrested him. They are federal. They could do it in any state. But I could be wrong.

Yes, they could have arrested him.  George told me if it hadn't been for me he would have arrested him.  He said being a friend of mine and being a good ole boy full of generosity saved him.   They did tell him no more free passes even if he does feed them and puts them up for a week of turkey hunting.

[Basser69]

Thats just plain crazy

[HogBiologist]

About the second or third year I had been turkey hunting I was out with my brother behind our uncle's "Condo" ready to hear that early morning Gobble.  At this point in my life I carried a red Hankerchief in my pocket to blow my nose on.  We got in the area well before daylight.  Normally we carried TP or napkins in case nature called.  Well this morning we didnt.  My brother leaned over to me and wispered asking me if I had a napkin or TP.  I said no.  A few Minutes later he leans back over and asks if I had my Hankey.  I said no you are not using it.  A few minutes later he leans in and says "part with the hankey of this hunts over".  I handed it to him.  He walked off about 30 yards and begins his thing.  It is almost daylight at this time.  In the Middle of it, a thunderous Gooble echos out.  He scrambles to finish and wipes and rushes back over to our spot.  He set up about 15 yards behind me.  I see a hen approaching us.  She came up to 10 feet away from me.  My brother called her around to him.  Then I see and hear him.  About 100 yards out I hear my first spit and drum.  I see him.  He starts to head up the hill to my left.  Finally he comes out into view.  I put his head in the crosshairs and BOOM.  Dropped like a rock.  We walked up to get him.  You could see where he had flopped down the hill.  My brother asked where he was standing when I shot.  I pointed it out.  He laughed and pointed to the red hankerchief not 10 feet away from where he was standing when I shot him.  We can only guess that the white hind end of my brothers caused him to shock gobble, and the red hankey made him think it was a big bad Tom looking to steal his hen.

He was nicknamed the Poo Gobbler.  (but since this is a family oriented sight I cant use the actual name, but you can guess what word comes before Gobbler)

[doepee]

probably seen his waddles!!!

[TnTurk]

probably seen his waddles!!!