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Military Humor

Started by tomstopper, June 27, 2012, 08:42:43 AM

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tomstopper

                                                         Uncle Bob

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a MARINE in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't frig with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."













A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for
the night.  The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"

The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design.  I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference.  Why?  What do
you think of, Sergeant?"

"I think somebody stole the damn tent."




Hognutz

May I assume you're not here to inquire about the alcohol or the tobacco?
If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.


surehuntsalot

it's not the harvest,it's the chase

BandedSpur

That's funny right there.

stone road turkey calls

Stone Road Turkey Calls / Gary Taylor
2013 Norseman 3rd place pot call
2013 Grand national 6th place pot call
2014 Midwest 3rd place pot call
2015 Midwest 5th place HM Tube call

longspur


nctrkyhntr


turkey slayer