GOATS Check-In for 2023

[Paulmyr]

Did y'all make sure to stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year 

Huh? What was that? Did you guys here something?....

Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up 

There it is again! It kinda sounds like a red squirrel barking. Maybe it's  the neighbor's ankle bitter yipping away.

[Happy]

Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up 

I prefer to snort gunpowder and drink whiskey. And I just so happen to be a Master electrician, so our scooters are second to none.

[Happy]

And before some Jack wagon gets on here and says she was just doing her job...you can just zip it. My version is a better story.

I would tell y'all an amazing story of me meeting up with a great-looking female game warden in the woods years ago and what happened...
Unfortunately, I don't have one....   

With your age and wisdom you should be able to do better than that Gobblenut. As I younger GOAT I will respectfully offer this advice. Any story can be turned into something much better than the reality without technically lying. The trick is to paint with a very broad brush and let people's minds fill in the rest.

Here's a true story that just happened for an example:

My version
My wife is out of town coaching at a volleyball tournament, and apparently, the local ladies know it. I got a text from two of them requesting that I meet up and have brunch with them at a local IHOP. I just got back and both ladies are extremely happy and couldn't thank me enough, asking if we can do it again soon. Such is the life of a GOAT.

The real version,
My wife is out of town coaching volleyball. My youngest boy has some friends that decided they wanted to get together at IHOP and eat. So the moms texted and asked if I could bring my boy and join them and I told them that i would. When i got there, I got a table, took all the boys and sat with them, told the mothers to get a table for themselves and enjoy some girl time. I paid for the boys food, joked around with the boys, and got a lot of "thank-you's" and " you didn't have to do that's" from the moms. So I left about $80.00 poorer and best case scenario, my wife gets to hear how nice and great of a guy I am and that she is so lucky to have me.

I like my version better than reality

[Paulmyr]

Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up 

I prefer to snort gunpowder and drink whiskey.

Gun powder and whiskey?! You must be slowing down with age!

[crow]

In Feb. of 96 I took my old truck to the sportsman show, the parking lot was packed, a really pretty policewomen was directing traffic on where to park, I roll down the window and get directions, she then looks at my inspection and says "hey dude, this expired in 5-95) sounded like a California  surfer chick.

I smiled and said oh, ok thanks and took off, went down the road past where she said, threw a bunch of snow all over the truck like a snowplow came past, and covered over the insp. sticker. came out of the show and truck wasn't towed and no ticket. A goat smile goes a long way. this is a true story by the way.
unless the statuettes if limitations haven't worn off, then it is just internet heresay

[reflexl]

I'm with you fellers. . All I am worried about is making sure any new members are worthy of the GOAT title. They better be able to talk smack, have a sense of humor, and look good while doing all of the above. Also, we have to make sure they are physically and emotionally fit for the rigors and demands of being a GOAT.

I don't know about talking smack but I do stay at a Holiday Inn once in a while!

Pretty good credentials. I stayed at a Holiday Inn one. Got up in the morning with a PHD in D.G.R. (digestive gas relief.)

[reflexl]

For our new team members: Shannon already knows we aint got a lick of sense. Not likely to terminate us. He feels sorry for us. When you walk in the door just drool a lot and sing the baba yaga Russian lullaby. He will immediately think you are one of us.

[reflexl]

We may not have much competition. Right now it looks like:
The Goats
The Sink Stoppers
The Splattered Snot
The Boring Twinkies
The Spelling Bees
Guns and Bozos
Clothes hangers

[Paulmyr]

We may not have much competition. Right now it looks like:
The Goats
The Sink Stoppers
The Splattered Snot
The Boring Twinkies
The Spelling Bees

Sounds like you guys might have scared away the only decent competition last year when the reigning champs tucked tail and ran!

[reflexl]

We may not have much competition. Right now it looks like:
The Goats
The Sink Stoppers
The Splattered Snot
The Boring Twinkies
The Spelling Bees

Sounds like you guys might have scared away the only decent competition last year when the reigning champs tucked tail and ran!

They said something about no more tissue in the out house and tool off running. We aint heard from them since.

[West Augusta]

Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up 

Geritol  check
Metamucil check
Talking smack not so much.
Batteries charged?  I'm a REPUBLICAN,  I use two stroke gas.   
Killing big turkeys check.

[randy6471]

 Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form! 

[crow]

Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form! 

There really is no offseason.
I just came in from the squirrel woods, I walked backwards the whole time, got right up close to a bunch of them, I guess they thought I was leaving and didn't spook. Going to try it on some gobblers first chance I get.

It's innovative thinking like this that puts the goats on the front row, especially if you can get goose sounds out of your yelper, the reversed low to high notes while walking backwards just paralyzes a gobbler, it's almost not fair.

[zelmo1]

Boring Twinkies, I like it. 

[reflexl]

Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form! 

There really is no offseason.
I just came in from the squirrel woods, I walked backwards the whole time, got right up close to a bunch of them, I guess they thought I was leaving and didn't spook. Going to try it on some gobblers first chance I get.

It's innovative thinking like this that puts the goats on the front row, especially if you can get goose sounds out of your yelper, the reversed low to high notes while walking backwards just paralyzes a gobbler, it's almost not fair.

You are giving away our secrets!  Oh I forgot. all of the other teams can't read. Scared me for a minute.