Let's just say...

[Spring_Woods]

For entertainment purposes..

I'm new to turkey hunting. This is my first year. So tell me, how is turkey hunting done?

(be as detailed as possible)

[I hate turkeys]

First your going to buy a bunch of stuff you don't really need. Now get youself a pair of waterproof snake boots (they will leak) and books and magazines, yes lots of magazines. Don't forget the DVD's the ones that make it look like there is a turkey in every field just wanting to run to you set up and call.
Now we should talk about learning to use a mouth call you can pratice your calling as you drive in the car (try not to choke) you will spit all over the steering wheel at first but it will be cleaner than new.
A turkey gun one is good four is better more things to chose gauges, chokes, sights vs. scopes and the shells box after box of testing shells. Your going to need to cancel some things to make time for all this or you could just take up golf. This is addictive be warned.

[guesswho]

For entertainment purposes..

I'm new to turkey hunting. This is my first year. So tell me, how is turkey hunting done?

(be as detailed as possible)

Poorly by some of the experts.

If I was just starting out the first thing I'd do is search for my diaphram and take a belly dancing course.  This will come in handy when using a mouth call.    Then I'd buy me a full size pick-up truck and proceed to fill it up with necessary equipment like blinds, flocks of decoys of all configurations ect.  Once the truck wouldn't hold anymore I'd get me a vest with the most pockets I could find.  I'd put at least two calls in each pocket even if I didn't know how to use them, I figure I could practice in the field.  I'd also put at least one other object in each one of those pockets just in case, then I'd right it all down so I could reply to next years whats in your vest "threads" without having to dump it all out and look.   Next I'd buy me a $1200 shotgun and throw the choke away and replace it with a $200 choke.   Then I'd start my search for the magic shell.  I wouldn't shoot any shell unless it had a price tag of at least $6 each on it.  Then I'd buy me some paper and a pen and draw a bunch of 10" circles on the paper.  After that I'd go to the range and shoot about $600 worth of shells, which ever one put the most shot in those circles I'd go and buy me about $300 worth of them because I plan on killing a bunch.  After that I'd take my paper turkeys home and go buy me a digital camera so I could post some of my best kill shots of the paper turkeys on the internet.  Then come opening day I'd go turkey hunting.  After I finished hunting I'd assume the reason I didn't kill one is because they were all either henned up or call shy or both.  Then I'd go home and help my neighbor who didn't take any of these pre-season steps clean the turkey he just killed.  After that I'd go call the N"WTF" and thank them for for provoding me with so many turkey's to hunt and ask them how much money I could send them to help them out.  After I wrote them a several hundred dollar check I'd take it to the post office and drop it of.  Once I left the post office I'd swing by the supermarket and buy me a turkey.   Later that night I'd set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. so I could get up and do it all agagin the next day.   After the season was over and I hadn't killed one  I'd call the N"WTF" again and see if I could send them some more money so they could help out my local turkey population before next year.   Then I'd walk over to my neighbors and look at all his beards and spurs from the season and start sharing my knowledge I'd gained this season figuring it might help him next year.  After that I'd spend the next ten months on a turkey forum giving advice about turkey hunting.

[SCtrkyhntr]

Set up a blind, fully mounted decoy flock, and shoot turkey with bow.  If blinds and decoys are not available try bushwhacking.  Then act like a hero whom has just conquered the world when you bag a bird....at least that's how I saw it on TV.

[Hognutz]

For entertainment purposes..

I'm new to turkey hunting. This is my first year. So tell me, how is turkey hunting done?

(be as detailed as possible)

Poorly by some of the experts.

If I was just starting out the first thing I'd do is search for my diaphram and take a belly dancing course.  This will come in handy when using a mouth call.    Then I'd buy me a full size pick-up truck and proceed to fill it up with necessary equipment like blinds, flocks of decoys of all configurations ect.  Once the truck wouldn't hold anymore I'd get me a vest with the most pockets I could find.  I'd put at least two calls in each pocket even if I didn't know how to use them, I figure I could practice in the field.  I'd also put at least one other object in each one of those pockets just in case, then I'd right it all down so I could reply to next years whats in your vest "threads" without having to dump it all out and look.   Next I'd buy me a $1200 shotgun and throw the choke away and replace it with a $200 choke.   Then I'd start my search for the magic shell.  I wouldn't shoot any shell unless it had a price tag of at least $6 each on it.  Then I'd buy me some paper and a pen and draw a bunch of 10" circles on the paper.  After that I'd go to the range and shoot about $600 worth of shells, which ever one put the most shot in those circles I'd go and buy me about $300 worth of them because I plan on killing a bunch.  After that I'd take my paper turkeys home and go buy me a digital camera so I could post some of my best kill shots of the paper turkeys on the internet.  Then come opening day I'd go turkey hunting.  After I finished hunting I'd assume the reason I didn't kill one is because they were all either henned up or call shy or both.  Then I'd go home and help my neighbor who didn't take any of these pre-season steps clean the turkey he just killed.  After that I'd go call the N"WTF" and thank them for for provoding me with so many turkey's to hunt and ask them how much money I could send them to help them out.  After I wrote them a several hundred dollar check I'd take it to the post office and drop it of.  Once I left the post office I'd swing by the supermarket and buy me a turkey.   Later that night I'd set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. so I could get up and do it all agagin the next day.   After the season was over and I hadn't killed one  I'd call the N"WTF" again and see if I could send them some more money so they could help out my local turkey population before next year.   Then I'd walk over to my neighbors and look at all his beards and spurs from the season and start sharing my knowledge I'd gained this season figuring it might help him next year.  After that I'd spend the next ten months on a turkey forum giving advice about turkey hunting.

I love ya, Man..That's about as good as it gets, Ronnie..Well said...Mike

[Basser69]

What Ronnie said x 2. You need to double everything that he said buy so that way when someone stops making it you will still have a massive pile that you can either sell on OG for a mint or rub it in everyones face that you still have it.

[TRKYHTR]

For entertainment purposes..

I'm new to turkey hunting. This is my first year. So tell me, how is turkey hunting done?

(be as detailed as possible)

Poorly by some of the experts.

If I was just starting out the first thing I'd do is search for my diaphram and take a belly dancing course.  This will come in handy when using a mouth call.    Then I'd buy me a full size pick-up truck and proceed to fill it up with necessary equipment like blinds, flocks of decoys of all configurations ect.  Once the truck wouldn't hold anymore I'd get me a vest with the most pockets I could find.  I'd put at least two calls in each pocket even if I didn't know how to use them, I figure I could practice in the field.  I'd also put at least one other object in each one of those pockets just in case, then I'd right it all down so I could reply to next years whats in your vest "threads" without having to dump it all out and look.   Next I'd buy me a $1200 shotgun and throw the choke away and replace it with a $200 choke.   Then I'd start my search for the magic shell.  I wouldn't shoot any shell unless it had a price tag of at least $6 each on it.  Then I'd buy me some paper and a pen and draw a bunch of 10" circles on the paper.  After that I'd go to the range and shoot about $600 worth of shells, which ever one put the most shot in those circles I'd go and buy me about $300 worth of them because I plan on killing a bunch.  After that I'd take my paper turkeys home and go buy me a digital camera so I could post some of my best kill shots of the paper turkeys on the internet.  Then come opening day I'd go turkey hunting.  After I finished hunting I'd assume the reason I didn't kill one is because they were all either henned up or call shy or both.  Then I'd go home and help my neighbor who didn't take any of these pre-season steps clean the turkey he just killed.  After that I'd go call the N"WTF" and thank them for for provoding me with so many turkey's to hunt and ask them how much money I could send them to help them out.  After I wrote them a several hundred dollar check I'd take it to the post office and drop it of.  Once I left the post office I'd swing by the supermarket and buy me a turkey.   Later that night I'd set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. so I could get up and do it all agagin the next day.   After the season was over and I hadn't killed one  I'd call the N"WTF" again and see if I could send them some more money so they could help out my local turkey population before next year.   Then I'd walk over to my neighbors and look at all his beards and spurs from the season and start sharing my knowledge I'd gained this season figuring it might help him next year.  After that I'd spend the next ten months on a turkey forum giving advice about turkey hunting.

I think somebody posted something like this in a cartoon character video clip. Was that you? So I'm wondering are you the guy next door? lol

TRKYHTR

[Gobble!]

buy corn!!
lots and lots of corn!!
then sit in a blind 30 yards away with a 870 and a full choke with lead #4s

[guesswho]

So I'm wondering are you the guy next door? lol

TRKYHTR

Yes, I do have a neighbor who shares his turkey hunting wisdom with me and keeps me informed of all the new must have turkey hunting gadgets. 

He grilled some turkey one day last week and invited me to come eat some of it.  I thought that was mighty nice of him since it came out of my freezer.

[Spring_Woods]

So I'm wondering are you the guy next door? lol

TRKYHTR

Yes, I do have a neighbor who shares his turkey hunting wisdom with me and keeps me informed of all the new must have turkey hunting gadgets. 

He grilled some turkey one day last week and invited me to come eat some of it.  I thought that was mighty nice of him since it came out of my freezer.

[redarrow]

Hire a guide. Use his gun.Go hunting .Kill turkey. Total cost per bird about 2000 bucks. Or take out a bank loan for at least 25,000 bucks and do it yourself.  Just don't let the missus know or we're all gonna be in deep doodoo.

[BrowningGuy88]

I would have to say:

• Well my army fatigues won't keep you hid, so buy about $600 worth of camo.
• Well my old Model 12 shooting lead with a fixed choke obviously can't kill a turkey and I am not too sure my 870 with XXX full choke and Fed HWT #7 will, so buy a Beretta Xtrema, IC choke, and shoot TSS #4's just to be sure you get pattern and pentration!

• Well my two wheel drive truck won't get you there, so buy a 2500 HD Z71 with super swampers and a winch
• Well my non custom calls sure won't call one in, so buy a $300 custom call

• Oh forgot to tell you, the bead sights on that Xtrema won't do, buy a Leupold turkey scope
• One more thing, you gotta have a bunch of decoys --- I don't know how to set one up, but I heard about it on the internet so you got to have one!

• Oh yeah, gotta buy that double bull blind, no way I expect you to actually be still when you are hunting!
• You also gotta shoot at least 300 shells patterning each year to make sure that you can put 400 pellets in a 10" circle at like 100 yards or your turkey will just laugh at you when you shoot!

Now after I have just given you all this advice, I am going to keep slinging my lead 4's out of the Model 12 and start shooting HWT 7's out of the 870. I am still going to wear my army surplus BDU's and a walmart head net. I will keep running my crystal freak and a gobble box. I will also keep letting you come over and have fried turkey with me cause you have all the stuff but absolutely no clue how in the hell to set up on a turkey to be able to pull the trigger. And if you did pull the trigger, he is probably inside 25 yards and your baseball pattern missed him!

Ahh, just perceptions from a guy who didn't kill a single bird this year because I couldn't get one to play the game! New guy, lets go hunting you can borrow one of my guns!

[mmusso]

For entertainment purposes..

I'm new to turkey hunting. This is my first year. So tell me, how is turkey hunting done?

(be as detailed as possible)

Poorly by some of the experts.

If I was just starting out the first thing I'd do is search for my diaphram and take a belly dancing course.  This will come in handy when using a mouth call.    Then I'd buy me a full size pick-up truck and proceed to fill it up with necessary equipment like blinds, flocks of decoys of all configurations ect.  Once the truck wouldn't hold anymore I'd get me a vest with the most pockets I could find.  I'd put at least two calls in each pocket even if I didn't know how to use them, I figure I could practice in the field.  I'd also put at least one other object in each one of those pockets just in case, then I'd right it all down so I could reply to next years whats in your vest "threads" without having to dump it all out and look.   Next I'd buy me a $1200 shotgun and throw the choke away and replace it with a $200 choke.   Then I'd start my search for the magic shell.  I wouldn't shoot any shell unless it had a price tag of at least $6 each on it.  Then I'd buy me some paper and a pen and draw a bunch of 10" circles on the paper.  After that I'd go to the range and shoot about $600 worth of shells, which ever one put the most shot in those circles I'd go and buy me about $300 worth of them because I plan on killing a bunch.  After that I'd take my paper turkeys home and go buy me a digital camera so I could post some of my best kill shots of the paper turkeys on the internet.  Then come opening day I'd go turkey hunting.  After I finished hunting I'd assume the reason I didn't kill one is because they were all either henned up or call shy or both.  Then I'd go home and help my neighbor who didn't take any of these pre-season steps clean the turkey he just killed.  After that I'd go call the N"WTF" and thank them for for provoding me with so many turkey's to hunt and ask them how much money I could send them to help them out.  After I wrote them a several hundred dollar check I'd take it to the post office and drop it of.  Once I left the post office I'd swing by the supermarket and buy me a turkey.   Later that night I'd set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. so I could get up and do it all agagin the next day.   After the season was over and I hadn't killed one  I'd call the N"WTF" again and see if I could send them some more money so they could help out my local turkey population before next year.   Then I'd walk over to my neighbors and look at all his beards and spurs from the season and start sharing my knowledge I'd gained this season figuring it might help him next year.  After that I'd spend the next ten months on a turkey forum giving advice about turkey hunting.

This just about summed up the last 3 months of my life. Have you been following me? 

[Ozark Ridge Runner]

Practice walking back to the truck with your head hanging down.  It's one of those things that you will do often, so it pays to practice and get good at it.

[lohaus]

Let's just say if it doesn't say Bone Collector on it then it's not worth a darn and you won't kill a thing.