I was watching my wife putting some fancy expensive cold cream on her face last night. "Why do you put that stuff on your face anyway?" I asked. "To make myself beautiful." she said, removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter... giving up?" I said. I'm in the dog house again.
My wife caught me switching the TV between a fishing show and a good porn movie this morning. She came over to me and said "Honey, you might as well just watch that old porn movie. You already know how to fish."
I'm getting older now and can't tolerate the cold like I used to, so last year my wife and I replaced all the windows in my house with those fancy expensive double-panel energy efficient kind. Gotta nice tax break also. Anyway, today I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy Harold had told me last year when he installed them, and I quote, "In ONE YEAR these windows will pay for themselves!" It's been a year now I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. Don't mess with us seniors.
