JEFF GORDON FIRES PIT CREW
Raleigh , NC
Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This
announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President
Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was
brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem
were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper
equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with
thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team,
as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew
able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they
had changed the paint scheme , altered the VIN number, and sold the car to
Dale Earnhardt Jr . for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of
Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
