Well, my wife and her mom do not have the best relationship so they don't see each other very often. They made the deal, meet at Christmas or Easter. If we did Christmas, I would miss some ice fishing and trapping which I can give up. Easter would mean missing the mentor hunt that I help run. Well today her mom called and said come down for Easter. So for the first time in 5 years, I will not be taking a kid hunting on the mentor hunt. I am going to help set it up but will not be able to hunt. I know I need to do this for my wife, but it is hard to swallow knowing guys will be hunting with kids, and I will be looking at people that do not care for me.
Let the wife deal with her mom and you go on your hunt.
Quote from: bird on December 20, 2011, 10:12:49 AM
Let the wife deal with her mom and you go on your hunt.
:icon_thumright:
Quote from: wisconsinteacher on December 20, 2011, 09:48:36 AM
I know I need to do this for my wife
I applaud you and your wife will thank you, probably in some way that helps make up for the loss of your hunt.
Quote from: Woodsman4God on December 20, 2011, 10:45:19 AM
Quote from: wisconsinteacher on December 20, 2011, 09:48:36 AM
I know I need to do this for my wife
I applaud you and your wife will thank you, probably in some way that helps make up for the loss of your hunt.
x2
Your wife needs your support. A husbands place is beside his wife. :cross2: :cross2: :cross2:
Quote from: redarrow on December 20, 2011, 11:08:37 AM
Your wife needs your support. A husbands place is beside his wife. :cross2: :cross2: :cross2:
I agree with this statement, there will always be the hunt, you really need to man up and swallow your pride, as, according to the Gospels, you are no longer twain, but one.......I'll keep this in our prayers for restitution , you never know, things may work out before hand and both of you will get what you want..........
Set up the hunt try and get a sub for your hunter. Go with your wife knowing you did the best for her and the youth hunt. Things have a way of working out for the best in trying times. :jesus-cross:
The Gospel doesn't say anything about dealing with the mother-IN-LAW
Quote from: redarrow on December 20, 2011, 11:08:37 AM
Your wife needs your support. A husbands place is beside his wife. :cross2: :cross2: :cross2:
You said the relationship is strained between wife and M-I-L. Your presence with your wife shows a support for her that she likely needs going into an environment that may be uncomfortable for her. I know that wanting to take a kid on a hunt weighs heavy, but there is no "covenant" relationship there. It's a tough pill to swallow sometimes, but the sacrifices you make to build and maintain a relationship with your wife will pay dividends in the long run.
I approve of your decision to be with your wife. Also, if you can find it in your heart to love your mother in law, regardless of her actions, it often takes loving others first before they can love at all.
Not an easy thing to do, but usually, other people act the way they do for reasons unseen by us.
God Bless,
David B.
Schedule one or the other a day or two earlier than planned and knock them both out. If that is impossible, better get someone with a camera to video the hunt for later. I'm pretty sure you know the cold look you'd get if you say "I aint goin, I'm goin hunting".
:turkey2:
Quote from: CASH on December 20, 2011, 11:53:01 AM
The Gospel doesn't say anything about dealing with the mother-IN-LAW
:icon_thumright:
The act of organizing the mentoring hunt alone says a lot about the kind of man you are. The act of you supporting your wife in an obvious time of need says scores more about the kind of man you are. I have had a very similar marriage to what 2ounce6s described and if I could do it all over again I would definitely change some things. I can't make those changes now but I can sure make a daily effort to be a better husband than I was 17 years ago. A wise man once told me that the secret to a happy marriage is to always consider your spouses needs before your own and it sounds like you are well on your way to just that.
Man I hate being the black sheep, this is two pages of butt kissing. you are going to go and make you your wife and your mil misrable, why do you want to walk around the yard for two days looking at the pink flamingos while your wife and her mother visit, leave them alone let them have a good time. don't let you and your wife being mad at each other for a week or two stop you from introducing these children to the great outdoors and possibly going in the wrong direction. so "man up" take the kids hunting.
Quote from: stone road turkey calls on December 20, 2011, 06:08:12 PM
Man I hate being the black sheep, this is two pages of butt kissing. you are going to go and make you your wife and your mil misrable, why do you want to walk around the yard for two days looking at the pink flamingos while your wife and her mother visit, leave them alone let them have a good time. don't let you and your wife being mad at each other for a week or two stop you from introducing these children to the great outdoors and possibly going in the wrong direction. so "man up" take the kids hunting.
:icon_thumright:
My thoughts exactly!
Quote from: BOFF on December 20, 2011, 01:41:50 PM
I approve of your decision to be with your wife. Also, if you can find it in your heart to love your mother in law, regardless of her actions, it often takes loving others first before they can love at all.
Not an easy thing to do, but usually, other people act the way they do for reasons unseen by us.
God Bless,
David B.
:icon_thumright:
Enjoy your time together!
I know that my wife needs all the support I can give when she visits her family. Bunch of .......... They always gang up on her and tell her what a bad person SHE is and crap like that. So I know you are making the right decision to be there if she needs your support. As for the kids, I know that is a rewarding experience, but take pride in the planning and enjoy the fact that some other guy will get to experience the hunt with a young adult.
Thanks for the kind words guys. I am one of the guys that round up the kids and screen them for the program because I work with most of them. I will be there for the kids to learn about turkey biology, shooting shotguns, and meeting their mentor. I will miss two days of hunting one on one with a kid. I know it will all work out in the end, but missing it after 5 years is hard to do. I get to hunt, fish, and trap every weekend of the year, so I guess I can handle missing one.
Quote from: wisconsinteacher on December 20, 2011, 07:49:54 PM
Thanks for the kind words guys. I am one of the guys that round up the kids and screen them for the program because I work with most of them. I will be there for the kids to learn about turkey biology, shooting shotguns, and meeting their mentor. I will miss two days of hunting one on one with a kid. I know it will all work out in the end, but missing it after 5 years is hard to do. I get to hunt, fish, and trap every weekend of the year, so I guess I can handle missing one.
No telling though, of the extra support, and help you will receive in the long run, when someone else steps up to fill your spot in the hunt.
It may be for the best of the overall program in the long run. Not writing your not doing your job, but you may gain in the long run, which benefits the kids.
God Bless,
David B.
Hunts come and go, but your spouse is there for life. I applaud your determination and committment for the mentor hunt, but your wife will applaud your committment to her more than that.
Unfortunately, messed up events cause messed up family situations and we have to work with them. I will be in prayer that your wife and mother in law will allow God inside whatever happened so that He can bring healing.
Jesus said "Blessed are the peace makers for they shall inherit the Kingdom of God". May God use you to help bring peace :jesus-cross:
Quote from: 2ounce6s on December 21, 2011, 08:57:25 AM
One thing is for sure, marriage ain't for everyone and try as they might some never find happiness in it. Everyone's experience is different and no two are the same. I've been on both sides of happiness in the past so my priorities are what they are for very good reasons. I truly hope those of you who feel that my earlier comment here was "butt kissing" will find your own happiness in the future. I feel some comments here came from bitterness due to prior experiences and I understand. No judging on this end, only wishing you the best.
Your posts are always filled with great advice Theron! I've been there and agree whole heartily buddy.
Quote from: 2ounce6s on December 21, 2011, 08:57:25 AM
One thing is for sure, marriage ain't for everyone and try as they might some never find happiness in it. Everyone's experience is different and no two are the same. I've been on both sides of happiness in the past so my priorities are what they are for very good reasons. I truly hope those of you who feel that my earlier comment here was "butt kissing" will find your own happiness in the future. I feel some comments here came from bitterness due to prior experiences and I understand. No judging on this end, only wishing you the best.
Things happen for reasons we sometimes can not control and it leaves it's effect on us. The problem with written words is they are flat without emotion and we sometimes read into a post the wrong intent, I know I have done it. It may be without any malice or ill will from the poster and that is life. If it were conversation the true meaning of statements would be better understood. I for one did not take your comment as anything bad or ill willed. Life goes on and so should we, good luck.
If you have a few minutes, below is a link to a devotional from February of this year. I think it applies...
http://oldgobbler.com/Forum/index.php/topic,526.msg4665.html#msg4665 (http://oldgobbler.com/Forum/index.php/topic,526.msg4665.html#msg4665)
It took me over 23 years to really understand it. I hope to have at least another 23 years to enjoy it.
I don't understand what's "Hard to swallow",,If you love your spouse...and she want's you with her...GO WITH HER.
Quote from: FANMAN on December 22, 2011, 10:08:01 AM
I don't understand what's "Hard to swallow",,If you love your spouse...and she want's you with her...GO WITH HER.
Speaking for my self, and being in most of the above situations, and trying most all of the above solutions, I can see the hard to swallow part due to my selfishness which I battle with on a weekly basis. A whole lot better as it used to be day to day. But for a man to put so much of his time in a project, and time with the kids, it's a tough decision to decide sometimes.
Speaking from experience, it can be dangerous when we put more time in something other than our spouse. It certainly shows where our priorities are at that moment. I'm not talking about just physical time, but mental, emotional, and spiritual as well.
Just something for each of you to chew on, and spit out however you see fit.
As mentioned in Wendell's devotional on 12/21/2011 my middle name is often "Martha"
God Bless,
David B.
The hard to swallow part comes from not being in the woods, but sitting with people that don't care for me or my wife. Being with my wife is great and we share a lot of time together in the woods and on the water. Maybe that will make it easier to understand.