Where ya recording that inside? It sounds slightly distorted. Listen when I was a kid my buddy Rob used a Quaker boy twin. That call sounded very flutey to me n he never shut his mouth so all calls ran together. He still kinda calls that way n he still kills birds. To me you're doing ok for a newer mouth call user. Imo your sequence is slightly off. But only in comparison to the way I call.
As I saw somewhere stated today the truth is some of the worst calls come from turkeys. Some are raspy n some not so much.
You can change pitch w tongue pressure. You're getting it don't stress to much. If you wanna hear some real Turks. Lovett Williams has some real turkey CDs that use the turkeys own voices. They're prob some of the best money you can spend. It'll teach you more fairly quickly than just hunting.