Turkey hunting forum for turkey hunting tips

Okay GOATeses, the 2023 contest is up and running.  We need to get a verification from last year's team members on whether you plan on participating or not.  I will not post the team in the registration thread until we either have the full team status with everybody reporting OR until February 25th.  Any team members not reporting by the 25th will be assumed to be uninterested in playing again and we will look for replacements (replacement priority list below based on OG members expressing interest in joining our squad if we end up having open spots)

The known status as of 2/7:
Team Members Who Have Verified They are IN:
avidnwoutdoorsman
Crow
Eggshell
GobbleNut
Happy
Randy6471
Rapscallion Vermilion
Reflexl
TauntoHawk
West Augusta

Team Members Who Have Not Reported IN or OUT: (to my knowledge)
Timberjack86  (supposedly OUT, but not sure as of 2/22)

Team Members Reporting OUT
Guesswho
Timberjack86

Team Member Replacement Priority List (those expressing interest in joining up)
1)  Paulmyr
2)  RLAG

*     If any of the information listed above is incorrect, please advise...
**   Before committing, please read the rules for the contest to be sure you are willing to follow them.
*** Our main objective is to have some fun,...don't take it too seriously!...   ;D :D

Guesswho, how can you leave that Super Bowl team? Your a key player my friend, Jim mentioned a possible signing bonus? Lol, hope you stay in the contest my friend....

Any sponsorships, perks or bountys being offered this year?
after all the promises last year that stale fruit cake and box of wine was a little disappointing.


Has anyone offered Guesswho some coupons for KFC and a new pair of crocs, that's what sealed the deal last year.

I was told by the captain that we didn't have much left in the budget. After the boating accident, we are actually operating in the red. Apparently, we may need to do some fundraisers or something. It's amazing that we pulled off the performance that we did operating off of  next to nothing. You would think our captain might have a little better financial plan worked out by now. But I am sure he will expect the same results with even less effort from himself. Hopefully, one day, he will realize that we might be easy, but we ain't cheap.

As per the previous posts, I contacted Georgia and Alabama about getting some NIL money.  They wanted to know if anybody was a quarterback?  I told them I didn't think so but I would ask.  I did tell them that some of our team members were so-so turkey hunters and that most of us had been male super-models at one time or another. 

They asked for some proof of either so I sent them Happy, Crow, and Guesswho's pictures.  ...I haven't heard from them since...   ;D :angel9:

Looks like it will be fruitcake and Strawberry Hill again this year.  However, I will try to find some fresh fruitcake.   :toothy9:

Geez, that wasn't too smart gobblenut. I understand sending them crows and guesswhos photos. But once you sent mine, then you clearly indicated you wanted some top tier, 5 star, pro-style, quarterback money. Ain't many that are gonna pony up that kind of cash. Oh well, when the seasons over, and it's time for my performance review. Just remember you got what you paid for.

I am pretty sure NIL is going to be paid in Little Debbie Oatmeal cream pies. As good looking as this bunch is, I feel sure that there is no chance of any other team receiving any OCPs this year. I am sure that will be a deterrent to some of them. We could always same our wrappers for the poor souls.

Are any of you goats headed to Nashville this weekend?

No sir. Getting my brownie points and saving my free time for turkey hunting.

Not going to be going either, but if you see Dolly make sure to say Hello for me

I hope Y'all had a good hibernation, saddle up, its going to be a bumpy ride, Z  :funnyturkey: :OGturkeyhead:

Hibernation nothing we have been in extreme training mode. We even learned how to make baskets with pop-cycle sticks and 279.7 uses for duct tape. Basically most other teams are going to melt away into oblivion and we shall stand triumphant over their charred, burned out remains.

Quote from: reflexl on February 16, 2023, 02:29:03 PM
Hibernation nothing we have been in extreme training mode. We even learned how to make baskets with pop-cycle sticks and 279.7 uses for duct tape. Basically most other teams are going to melt away into oblivion and we shall stand triumphant over their charred, burned out remains.

''The Boring Twinkies'', probably sat around all winter watching ''The Sound of Music''  reruns.

Their new theme song ''The Hills are in Flames like our burned out remains''

Speaking of the sound of music.

When the GOATS are in the woods, the gobblers are dying.
Zelmos in the corner, I think that he's crying.
The boring 20's learning they ain't got no game.
These are a few of my favorite things.

timberjack posted he was out...Guesswho, well what in the heck can we say about that. He's being dulusional if he thinks he can hold out for a bigger NIL chack....Gobblenut and friend, Happy and myself spent his contract money in South Dakota last spring. Sorry buddy you ain't even getting new crocks this year, but we might all donate some gently used almost new underwear (no guarantee on brown stripes ). Maybe a gobblenut special call.

I vote let the other two in and say we're full

I vote we wait until the 25th as posted and see how it plays out with last years team

I'm with you fellers. . All I am worried about is making sure any new members are worthy of the GOAT title. They better be able to talk smack, have a sense of humor, and look good while doing all of the above. Also, we have to make sure they are physically and emotionally fit for the rigors and demands of being a GOAT.

I hope they will have the commitment to stand at the sink for hours if necessary and flush out all the ear wax to be able to hear the faintest gobble

got mine done last week, and only took 1 and a half bottles of Draino to get the sink back in shape

Quote from: Happy on February 16, 2023, 07:34:12 PM
I'm with you fellers. . All I am worried about is making sure any new members are worthy of the GOAT title. They better be able to talk smack, have a sense of humor, and look good while doing all of the above. Also, we have to make sure they are physically and emotionally fit for the rigors and demands of being a GOAT.

I don't know about talking smack but I do stay at a Holiday Inn once in a while!

You make a good point crow, I forgot about the 25th deadline,my bad

I thought my GOAT-y sense was tingling.  Is it already that time again?  Time flies when you are hibernating.  Having barely made the "good looking" cut last year and seeing as this last year hasn't been kind, I've been expecting to be GOAT-benched.  Ronnie did raise the bar though, so if he is truly out (GobbleNut can't raise the required funds), I might still make the cut.

 :icon_thumright:,

every team needs at least 1 Maineiac.

Your fine Rap. Just being a GOAT raises your looks at least 5 times over. Now if you were one of those killer z's, you would be outa luck. I heard those boys mama's had to tie a steak around their necks just to get the dogs to play with them.

Happy, I started using that xtra strength medicated hand lotion you told me about to make my hands more good looking for the pics this year. It worked so good I been using it on my face, 1/4 of my wrinkles are smoothed out and I found if it's put on seconds  before a pic it fills in another 1/4 of them.

I'm so good looking now it looks suspicious and probably will get stopped by the Game warden thinking somehow I must be up to no good, I don't even resemble my drivers lic.

Quote from: crow on February 18, 2023, 09:59:38 PM
Happy, I started using that xtra strength medicated hand lotion you told me about to make my hands more good looking for the pics this year. It worked so good I been using it on my face, 1/4 of my wrinkles are smoothed out and I found if it's put on seconds  before a pic it fills in another 1/4 of them.

I'm so good looking now it looks suspicious and probably will get stopped by the Game warden thinking somehow I must be up to no good, I don't even resemble my drivers lic.

Glad it's working out for ya. You need to head up my way this spring. I discovered we got a new DNR lady while bowhunting this fall. If i remember correctly, she is in her late 20s, and she is pretty easy on the eyes. I got a pretty good going over, but by the time it was all over, and i was proven to be a law-abiding citizen, we had our phones out showing each other hunting pictures. I got her name and number somewheres around here. That cream is good stuff. I was out in the middle of nowhere, wearing facepaint, and she still tracked me down and was waiting for me at my truck. When it comes to being good-looking, the struggle is real. So if we have any single GOATS, y'all just need to hang out with me for a day, and you will meet a lady or three. What happens after that is all up to you, but I am already spoken for, so they might be willing to settle for someone else.

And before some Jack wagon gets on here and says she was just doing her job...you can just zip it. My version is a better story.

Quote from: Happy on February 18, 2023, 11:17:07 PM
And before some Jack wagon gets on here and says she was just doing her job...you can just zip it. My version is a better story.

I would tell y'all an amazing story of me meeting up with a great-looking female game warden in the woods years ago and what happened...
Unfortunately, I don't have one....   ;D :angel9: :toothy9:

Quote from: GobbleNut on February 19, 2023, 09:02:40 AM

Quote from: Happy on February 18, 2023, 11:17:07 PM
And before some Jack wagon gets on here and says she was just doing her job...you can just zip it. My version is a better story.

I would tell y'all an amazing story of me meeting up with a great-looking female game warden in the woods years ago and what happened...
Unfortunately, I don't have one....   ;D :angel9: :toothy9:

In an effort to up my chances at claiming a possible prized open spot on this highly esteemed Championship Team, I humbly take knee and  put forward the point on my resume that consists of having a hot female warden sneak up on me just in time to catch me in the act of taking a leak. Of course she didn't announce her presence til after I was finished. Although we didn't exchange numbers, the look on her face was priceless!

Quote from: Paulmyr on February 19, 2023, 09:44:46 AM

Quote from: GobbleNut on February 19, 2023, 09:02:40 AM

Quote from: Happy on February 18, 2023, 11:17:07 PM
And before some Jack wagon gets on here and says she was just doing her job...you can just zip it. My version is a better story.

I would tell y'all an amazing story of me meeting up with a great-looking female game warden in the woods years ago and what happened...
Unfortunately, I don't have one....   ;D :angel9: :toothy9:

In an effort to up my chances at claiming a possible prized open spot on this highly esteemed Championship Team, I humbly take knee and  put forward the point on my resume that consists of having a hot female warden sneak up on me just in time to catch me in the act of taking a leak. Of course she didn't announce her presence til after I was finished. Although we didn't exchange numbers, the look on her face was priceless!

That's impressive! Your off to a good start!

Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up  :goofball:

Quote from: Mossyguy on February 19, 2023, 10:35:46 AM
Did y'all make sure to stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year  :goofball:

Huh? What was that? Did you guys here something?....

Quote from: Mossyguy on February 19, 2023, 10:35:46 AM
Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up  :goofball:

There it is again! It kinda sounds like a red squirrel barking. Maybe it's  the neighbor's ankle bitter yipping away. :smiley-char092:

Quote from: Mossyguy on February 19, 2023, 10:35:46 AM
Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up  :goofball:

I prefer to snort gunpowder and drink whiskey. And I just so happen to be a Master electrician, so our scooters are second to none.

Quote from: GobbleNut on February 19, 2023, 09:02:40 AM

Quote from: Happy on February 18, 2023, 11:17:07 PM
And before some Jack wagon gets on here and says she was just doing her job...you can just zip it. My version is a better story.

I would tell y'all an amazing story of me meeting up with a great-looking female game warden in the woods years ago and what happened...
Unfortunately, I don't have one....   ;D :angel9: :toothy9:

With your age and wisdom you should be able to do better than that Gobblenut. As I younger GOAT I will respectfully offer this advice. Any story can be turned into something much better than the reality without technically lying. The trick is to paint with a very broad brush and let people's minds fill in the rest.

Here's a true story that just happened for an example:

My version
My wife is out of town coaching at a volleyball tournament, and apparently, the local ladies know it. I got a text from two of them requesting that I meet up and have brunch with them at a local IHOP. I just got back and both ladies are extremely happy and couldn't thank me enough, asking if we can do it again soon. Such is the life of a GOAT.

The real version,
My wife is out of town coaching volleyball. My youngest boy has some friends that decided they wanted to get together at IHOP and eat. So the moms texted and asked if I could bring my boy and join them and I told them that i would. When i got there, I got a table, took all the boys and sat with them, told the mothers to get a table for themselves and enjoy some girl time. I paid for the boys food, joked around with the boys, and got a lot of "thank-you's" and " you didn't have to do that's" from the moms. So I left about $80.00 poorer and best case scenario, my wife gets to hear how nice and great of a guy I am and that she is so lucky to have me.

I like my version better than reality

Quote from: Happy on February 19, 2023, 11:52:35 AM

Quote from: Mossyguy on February 19, 2023, 10:35:46 AM
Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up  :goofball:

I prefer to snort gunpowder and drink whiskey.

Gun powder and whiskey?! You must be slowing down with age!

In Feb. of 96 I took my old truck to the sportsman show, the parking lot was packed, a really pretty policewomen was directing traffic on where to park, I roll down the window and get directions, she then looks at my inspection and says "hey dude, this expired in 5-95) sounded like a California  surfer chick.

I smiled and said oh, ok thanks and took off, went down the road past where she said, threw a bunch of snow all over the truck like a snowplow came past, and covered over the insp. sticker. came out of the show and truck wasn't towed and no ticket. A goat smile goes a long way. this is a true story by the way.
unless the statuettes if limitations haven't worn off, then it is just internet heresay

Quote from: Paulmyr on February 17, 2023, 01:14:58 AM

Quote from: Happy on February 16, 2023, 07:34:12 PM
I'm with you fellers. . All I am worried about is making sure any new members are worthy of the GOAT title. They better be able to talk smack, have a sense of humor, and look good while doing all of the above. Also, we have to make sure they are physically and emotionally fit for the rigors and demands of being a GOAT.

I don't know about talking smack but I do stay at a Holiday Inn once in a while!

Pretty good credentials. I stayed at a Holiday Inn one. Got up in the morning with a PHD in D.G.R. (digestive gas relief.)

For our new team members: Shannon already knows we aint got a lick of sense. Not likely to terminate us. He feels sorry for us. When you walk in the door just drool a lot and sing the baba yaga Russian lullaby. He will immediately think you are one of us.

We may not have much competition. Right now it looks like:
The Goats
The Sink Stoppers
The Splattered Snot
The Boring Twinkies
The Spelling Bees
Guns and Bozos
Clothes hangers

Quote from: reflexl on February 20, 2023, 06:29:20 PM
We may not have much competition. Right now it looks like:
The Goats
The Sink Stoppers
The Splattered Snot
The Boring Twinkies
The Spelling Bees

Sounds like you guys might have scared away the only decent competition last year when the reigning champs tucked tail and ran!

Quote from: Paulmyr on February 20, 2023, 07:41:53 PM

Quote from: reflexl on February 20, 2023, 06:29:20 PM
We may not have much competition. Right now it looks like:
The Goats
The Sink Stoppers
The Splattered Snot
The Boring Twinkies
The Spelling Bees

Sounds like you guys might have scared away the only decent competition last year when the reigning champs tucked tail and ran!

They said something about no more tissue in the out house and tool off running. We aint heard from them since.

Quote from: Mossyguy on February 19, 2023, 10:35:46 AM
Did y'all stock up on Geritol and Metamucil this year? Also make sure your scooter batteries are charged up  :goofball:

Geritol  check
Metamucil check
Talking smack not so much.
Batteries charged?  I'm a REPUBLICAN,  I use two stroke gas.   :TooFunny:
Killing big turkeys check.

 Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form!  :happy0064:

Quote from: randy6471 on February 23, 2023, 06:45:03 PM
Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form!  :happy0064:

There really is no offseason.
I just came in from the squirrel woods, I walked backwards the whole time, got right up close to a bunch of them, I guess they thought I was leaving and didn't spook. Going to try it on some gobblers first chance I get.

It's innovative thinking like this that puts the goats on the front row, especially if you can get goose sounds out of your yelper, the reversed low to high notes while walking backwards just paralyzes a gobbler, it's almost not fair.

Boring Twinkies, I like it.  :funnyturkey:

Quote from: crow on February 23, 2023, 07:32:10 PM

Quote from: randy6471 on February 23, 2023, 06:45:03 PM
Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form!  :happy0064:

There really is no offseason.
I just came in from the squirrel woods, I walked backwards the whole time, got right up close to a bunch of them, I guess they thought I was leaving and didn't spook. Going to try it on some gobblers first chance I get.

It's innovative thinking like this that puts the goats on the front row, especially if you can get goose sounds out of your yelper, the reversed low to high notes while walking backwards just paralyzes a gobbler, it's almost not fair.

You are giving away our secrets!  Oh I forgot. all of the other teams can't read. Scared me for a minute.

Quote from: reflexl on February 24, 2023, 08:34:42 AM

Quote from: crow on February 23, 2023, 07:32:10 PM

Quote from: randy6471 on February 23, 2023, 06:45:03 PM
Looks like you guys really followed the GOATS "High Intensity Offseason Training Program".... you're already in mid-season form!  :happy0064:

There really is no offseason.
I just came in from the squirrel woods, I walked backwards the whole time, got right up close to a bunch of them, I guess they thought I was leaving and didn't spook. Going to try it on some gobblers first chance I get.

It's innovative thinking like this that puts the goats on the front row, especially if you can get goose sounds out of your yelper, the reversed low to high notes while walking backwards just paralyzes a gobbler, it's almost not fair.

You are giving away our secrets!  Oh I forgot. all of the other teams can't read. Scared me for a minute.

Thats correct, I thought ahead and left out the pictures.

The key to walking backwards and not spooking them is doing it in a strait line, most of the other teams can't stay sober long enough to walk forwards in a strait line let alone backwards  :happy0167:

Looks like the Boring twinkies are having trouble filling their team, rumor is some switched to .410s because of excessive 20.ga recoil.


Need a new name, The Boring Teeny Weenys.

Quote from: crow on February 24, 2023, 02:12:12 PM
Looks like the Boring twinkies are having trouble filling their team, rumor is some switched to .410s because of excessive 20.ga recoil.


Need a new name, The Boring Teeny Weenys.

Think I snorted on that one!

This year we aint playing. We is serious. Like really serious! What are the other teams going to do when we break out the "DECOY?" 
(https://i.imgur.com/5ov85NI.jpg)

I'm out this year fellers,  I've got way too much going on and I'd just be dead weight. Good luck guys I'm rooting for y'all!!

Quote from: timberjack86 on February 24, 2023, 08:00:56 PM
I'm out this year fellers,  I've got way too much going on and I'd just be dead weight. Good luck guys I'm rooting for y'all!!

Sorry to hear that, timberjack.  You and Guesswho will be listed as esteemed alumni of the 2022 championship squad.   :D :icon_thumright:

Quote from: timberjack86 on February 24, 2023, 08:00:56 PM
I'm out this year fellers,  I've got way too much going on and I'd just be dead weight. Good luck guys I'm rooting for y'all!!

Your dead to me, I don't even know you anymore

Hope everything smooths out for you and you are able to get out some this spring

Quote from: GobbleNut on February 25, 2023, 08:59:07 AM
Sorry to hear that, timberjack.  You and Guesswho will be listed as esteemed alumni of the 2022 championship squad.   :D :icon_thumright:

I'm going to have to look up the meaning of esteemed and alumni before I decide if I approve or object.   Esteemed sounds like something you made up, and alumni looks like something you misspelled or didn't finish.   Then again they both sound like something you would use in the pursuit of a Sabbatical slam.

Quote from: guesswho on February 25, 2023, 10:59:28 AM

Quote from: GobbleNut on February 25, 2023, 08:59:07 AM
Sorry to hear that, timberjack.  You and Guesswho will be listed as esteemed alumni of the 2022 championship squad.   :D :icon_thumright:

I'm going to have to look up the meaning of esteemed and alumni before I decide if I approve or object.   Esteemed sounds like something you made up, and alumni looks like something you misspelled or didn't finish.   Then again they both sound like something you would use in the pursuit of a Sabbatical slam.

  :D  You know me way too well after all these years....   ;D :angel9:

Quote from: timberjack86 on February 24, 2023, 08:00:56 PM
I'm out this year fellers,  I've got way too much going on and I'd just be dead weight. Good luck guys I'm rooting for y'all!!

Sorry to hear that. I completely understand.